so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
