i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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