Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Randomize
