this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
