she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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