i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My dick has a subreddit
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
