Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
