ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
