Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am mentally ready for anal.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
