wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
