Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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