She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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