What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
