My cat gives me a boner
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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