No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
