Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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