Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
