Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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