when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
