No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
