There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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