did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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