The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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