I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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