The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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