A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
