Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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