do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
