yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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