quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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