:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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