i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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