So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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