rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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