Jerry, you need to find god
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You smell like stripper and shame
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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