He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
