What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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