You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
