winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
