Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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