Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
