Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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