I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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