omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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