Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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