he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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