dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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