I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
