Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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