The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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