I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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