I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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