Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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